Brother Mike,
I’ve seen a tendency more in fathers, though present in mothers too, of
sometimes disciplining their children out of irritation without regard to the
gospel. Let me try to explain... Imagine a child being annoying until the
father erupts and finally scolds his child in anger. The child ends up being
silenced, and rightly so, but by a father who simply wants his child to be quiet
so that he can find some peace. In cases such as these, the father disciplines
his child only because he doesn’t want to be annoyed any longer. End of story...
End of sad, sad story... A corrected child, a satisfied father and no
display of the gospel. God is removed from the training process once again.
What I believe we as fathers should do is discipline our children for the
their sake and more importantly for God’s glory. Such discipline
never looks like what is described above. Such discipline will take
time, even more time than we care to expend, especially when we want peace NOW.
If the child is behaving in a way that is annoying, it may be because he is
sinning (that is what children do best) by not being concerned about others
around him. In such cases, the child needs to be shown in patience, without
delay and certainly before eruption, that he is breaking the principle of the
fifth commandment, to consider others more important – more significant
ESV, than oneself. (Philippians 2:3) Then the child is in need, dire need,
of being shown the way of the gospel - that of seeking forgiveness for sin, both
on the vertical and horizontal plane.
Take the time, my brother, to lead Carolyn to seek your forgiveness,
Janet's forgiveness, and that of the Father’s. Lead her to the gracious
forgiveness we have in Christ. Use what so many consider mild infractions, not
worthy of more than a barked-out command to stop, to teach Carolyn why she needs
a Savior, and that in Christ she can find pardon from a loving and gracious
Father. All that to say, do take the time to show God’s love to your daughter by
showing her the loving cost of her salvation. This will take time but good,
gospel fruit will be born which will be occasion for much rejoicing.
Even if the father does not get annoyed easily, which is what I would sense
about you, maybe because of a high threshold for irritation, Carolyn must still
be shown what courteous behavior entails and what bad behavior deserves. So even
the more easy going of our sex, like probably yourself, still have the same
marching orders as “the rest of us.” :) (Actually, my tendency would be to address an infraction quickly but not to be consistent in bringing the gospel to bear.) You’ll do fine Michael, just be sensitive
to sin in your daughter’s life and more importantly God’s love for sinners.
In His grace,
Ron
